Tuesday, February 2, 2010

VENTAGE ...

It's 9:32 p.m. and I am stuck in a trance, I've been in this same position (on my bed, laying here) for the past 4 hours. It's as if my brain and body has shut down, even though I've got tons of work to do. I am feeling overwhelmed and quite frustrated. My mind and I have been battling it out for the past couple of months. Albert Einstein defined Insanity as "doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results" and I, my friend, am that (for now, but who isn't? lol). Its 2010 and I feel like I'm still stuck in 2009. I want to move forward but this state of mind, being a slave to my mental is the 'killjoy'. I ask myself questions constantly, trying to figure myself out. It's clearly irritating and a waste of time. I know my potential, which is to be GREAT, but it's as if success has become a fear of mine, or maybe the fear is to move. All I know is that I've got to get rid of this mental disease. There is so much I would like to do this year and will be challenging myself to take unfamiliar risks, whether it is poking at different aspects of my career plans, a spontaneous travel, etc.

"My reality just set in and even when the phantoms leased, them hoes want to get in". . . that verse has been in my head all damn day, but the first five words stick with me. I guess all I can really do is take a deep breath, pray for strength and direction, then just GO with no doubt in my heart.

Cheers to the road ahead, the good, the bad, and the opportunity to struggle.
No more complaints but there will be more venting because this road will not be easy (wait did that make sense? ha.)

say a good word to the man upstairs for me.
thnx.

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