the break thru; mental freedom.

so listen to this; me as a person, find myself in mental prisons. i can admit my flaws and where ive failed. & id say that im harder on myself than most, but i refuse to be institutionalized forever. ive played the victim, and ive played the i dont know roll. the truth is that i am very talented but hold myself back, why? because i have a fear in change. i am what you would call someone who has grown comfortable of where i am & what i do, routinely. no longer will i allow myself to be unsuccessful. i am a strong believer of the saying "no sacrifice, no reward", and "no struggle, no success". trust me, i have struggled and am struggling. struggling to find myself, find the real me and to be sure of who am i and not prideful but humble.

because i am kind, and because i do not come off outspoken people take advantage of me. they take my kindness for weakness. it has gotten old. the true colors of your peers are released, they show what they are about, and how dishonest they are. recently i separated myself from a situation, it became very stressful and time consuming. not the environment i'd find myself comfortable with, but i tried to stick it out and try something different. it finally got so frustrating to the point where i could no longer deal. it took a lot for me to drop the situation, before i left it behind there were talks of change. i felt as if i was being lured back into the situation, with these talks of change. i down talked the situation with loved ones and close friends, realizing i was only hurting myself by not "acting" and separating myself. have you ever just walked into a situation that seemed fine at first, you knew from jump that it had some minor repairs, later larger repairs that you have no real control over. with the situation came unorganized drama, and unnecessary obstacles for a point to be proven. but for what? no reason, but one was always justified. tears of anger and frustration ran down my face, i felt "hate" for the first time. the overall view of the situation is what i was looking at.

this blog is about mental freedom; and i find myself ranting. i freed myself from a situation that would not make or break me at the end of the day. i feel a sign of relief. being brainwashed, mentally pimped, and manipulated was the last thing on my mind, but as it comes to the light i am so thankful that it did so that i could catch myself before completely falling flat on my face.

to be continued...